Are you there God? It's Me, Milla and my mom too.

We went for our usual evening walk around the block and I noticed that Milla was about to step on a dead bird. I grabbed her hand and said, watch out. She looked down and saw what I hoped she'd miss. She said, "Mommy, did that bird get squished by a car? He wasn't being careful. I wish he didn't get squished. Where's his family? They were careful. They didn't get squished. Is that bird going to be okay?" After answering I decided to take a moment and say a little prayer for this bird with Milla that went something like, "Dear God. Please take care of that little bird and his family too. Amen." Milla said, "Maybe we should send his family a card. That would be nice." "Mommy, I hope that bird gets up and walks again." "Mommy, let's walk back and see that bird again. I want to see him, if he's okay." "I have to hold your hand so I don't get squished like that bird." A few minutes later, while holding my hand, she tripped and fell to the ground. I was able to break her fall for the most part, but somehow she still ended up laying flat on the road. She cried for a few seconds and then said, "Mommy did you pick me up so a car wouldn't hit me and squish me like that bird." I replied. Then, a car was approaching and she said, "I'm going to stop and go to the side so that car doesn't hit me and squish me."And, for the next 20 minutes our conversation continued like this. She was trying so hard to process what she saw, to process what few of us can truly process. It was the perfect display of innocence, beauty, wonderment, and mortality. In that half hour I saw a vulnerable, but deeply connected child, a caregiver with a wide open heart, a curious truth seeker, a fearful little girl, a hopeful optimist, and the tear-jerker, my sweet girl who still believes I can protect her from everything. While God knows I wish the latter was true, I find peace in her heart, knowing it is filled with love, our love, God's love.
And, that is all the protection she will ever need.

Milla's emotional self is developing at a rapid speed. In the last month, she has come to understand life differently as if she is beginning to grasp reality. She is beginning to FEEL emotions with a greater passion and comprehension. When she says I love you, it's not to reciprocate or out of habit, but because she has come to understand what those 3 words really mean. Although she has been able to communicate with 'feeling' vocabulary for a while, she now expresses and feels things at a whole new level. I know she's only two and a half, but sometimes I feel like I'm living with a wise old woman:).....and it's probably due to the fact that parenting is the single most life-changing & life-improving challenge that forces us to continually reflect, review, relinquish and revive....om.